While each goodbye is uniquely difficult in the circumstances that lead two people to part, I truly believe that the most difficult type of goodbye is the one you never expected you would have to say.
In my path to becoming the person I feel the most comfortable being, the person that I want for my children to remember, I have encountered many people.
Some of these individuals have served as lessons, reminders of who I do not want to become, or on the other hand, examples of who I may wish to emulate a personality trait of..their kind heart, listening ear, friendly nature for example.
Others have served as a reason. A reason to say goodbye. A reason to understand that pain is a much a portion of life’s journey as joy, and that sometimes, in order to become better versions of ourselves, we must leave these people behind, for the greater good of everyone involved.
I had to say another goodbye today.
I know that along my path to my best self, this choice is for the best. This person, who was a large part of my adult life, though their presence minimal, their overall presence expected, is now a person I will have to file in the chapters of my past, another “friend” who is not a part of my journey any longer.
I think that at times of change, including the change of one’s self, other people can become uncomfortable, and for this reason, not knowing how to react, people assume it is better to withdraw. Rather than work to maintain a friendship and discover the new aspects of this old friend, people think it is better to stop trying.
I wonder, if at times like these, the friendship was really ever that important to them.
But these are things I don’t dwell on. In becoming who I want to be, in living with a peaceful mind, I know that I must let go. Not every aspect of life is expected to be understood all of the time, and that is the beauty of life. Not everything has a plan, and while I will miss this friendship, I know it wasn’t meant to last.
Life goes on, and I’m content in the fact that I alone am my own friend, carrying myself from one destination to the next..picking up characters in my story along the way.