Conversations with God

We visit often and yet, I’ve never met Him in person. It will, hopefully, be many years until I do. He finds me in the quiet moments of my life, folding laundry, or rinsing out the cups of milk or juice dismissed from a long abandoned meal. He finds me in those moments before bed as my head lay on my pillow, quietly recounting the moments of my day where I felt as if I excelled, and rewinding the moments I wish I could do over, like a coach replaying a game tape for his team. He finds me in the busiest parts of my day, where I can find myself getting overwhelmed at the length of a particularly long line, or a large crowd, and He calms my anxiety.

We talk often, and though most of our dialogue is unspoken, I know He hears my words. I can see his answers to my questions in the moments of my day, the way he continuously provides for myself and my family. He encourages me to encourage others also. Together we stumble across a quote on pinterest, or a story online that we feel like sharing, letting others know that this seemingly negative season of their lives too shall pass, and that they are worthy of good things.

We share these things, and even though I’m not sure if I’m reaching anyone when I do, I know the ways in which He wokes, and I’m hopeful that I am reaching someone too.

He reaches me through the power of prayer also. Sometimes I wonder if what I think are His calls are actually my own thoughts, but I dismiss the notion when I receive an email, or a text, confirming what I have been asked to do, and I know that He is asking me to pray for someone. He thinks that I can have an impact on that person’s life, and so I pray. For their health. For a season of abundance and security. For their lives. I pray, and when I send these silent prayers up to Him, I know He’s listening, taking mental notes.

Recently, I felt a very strong urge to pray for someone. I was sitting on the rocking chair in our living room, reading a book about spiritual encounters (Chicken Soup for the Soul: Messages from Heaven), when I felt a very strong, almost uncomfortable urge, to pray for someone. I say uncomfortable because it was so powerful, so overwhelming, that I was honestly taken aback. I have always prayed for certain people when I start one of these conversations with Him, but I have never, never had Him come directly to me, and prompt me to pray for someone else. The first time I dismissed the feeling, and continued reading my book as my children played rambunctiously in the background. And then, He urged me again. The feeling was stronger this time, and so I prayed for this person. I’m not sure what the outcome of my prayers was. While this person is a part of my life, we don’t have the opportunity to talk often. But I know this. I do hope that whatever I was being called upon in that moment to help heal, has happened.

I know that after that experience, I found myself confused.  I wondered why He had chosen me to pray for this person, and what purpose I was supposed to serve. I didn’t understand. Then this morning, our doorbell rang. It was a UPS delivery for a book I requested several weeks ago to be delivered, and had since forgotten about.

The title of the book?

Finding your way back to God.

I don’t believe in coincidences. I honestly think that this book was delivered at this time when questions swirled in my heart, because He knew just how to soothe them, and how to answer the things I wondered about.

In our conversations, I often ask Him for signs. Signs that I am doing things correctly, in the plan for my life. Signs that I am the best person that I can be. I think that today, in receiving this book, he was sending me the sign He knew I needed.

We find each other in our conversations at the most random of times. I typically do most of the talking. But today, and in the moment he asked me to pray for the other person, He was doing the talking. And I couldn’t help but listen.

 

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