It has been said, when it comes to writing, to write what you know. After all, the most authentic words come from experience. This is why I write from the platform of motherhood and marriage. These are things I am familiar with, these are things I know.
However today’s posts doesn’t find me speaking about motherhood, or marriage. Today ‘s post is about the crisis. I am having it. Perhaps you are too.
I am turning 30 next year. I should preface this by saying that my 29th birthday has not yet arrived and I am already looking forward to my 30th. The 30th birthday is a significant one for many, and a dreaded one for most. For me, my 30th birthday is a milestone for several reasons.
During my mid 20’s, I unconsciously set my 30th birthday as the basis for many decisions in my life. My 30th birthday would be the deadline I gave myself to decide if I wanted any more children. My 30th birthday would determine where I was at in my career. My 30th birthday would hopefully find me in a home of my own. Standing on the verge of 29, I can say that these timelines I have set for myself have not necessarily gone according to plan, and to be honest, I am content in the knowledge that my life has taken a different course. I will admit, for many months and even years before I became comfortable with the direction of my life, I questioned myself and my purpose almost constantly. What if I wasn’t living up to my full potential? What if I had not advanced as far in my life, in my career, as I wanted too? These what if’s haunted me and caused me to feel as I was failing. I hated that feeling, and the doubt that it always caused me to feel about myself.
I am writing to you today, because perhaps you are in the crisis too. Maybe it ‘s not your 30th birthday, but something else.
Perhaps you are in your final semester of college, armed with a plan for your future, but also plagued by the fear that your plan might fall apart. You may be wondering what happens after you leave the comfort of the life that you have lived for the past four years, wondering if you will feel different as soon as you carry your diploma in hand.
You may be in your mid to late twenties, transitioning from the familiarity of a position you have held for quite some time in to the uncertain realm of a new position with a new company or firm. You may be leaving that life completely, venturing off in to your own business endeavors, starting a new foundation, and forging your own path. You may have questions about how you are going to make it work. You may wonder what is needed to succeed, and doubt yourself. Will you fit in with your new colleagues? Can you be your boss?
You may be in your later years, a woman or a man who has committed their lives to raising their children, and are now questioning who you are as a person, as your children grow and rely on you less. You may have forgotten the you before you were a parent. You may be struggling to find yourself again, and be paralyzed in the fear that you do not know what to do other than parent.
You might also be facing the crisis an older person, who has raised a family and a marriage, who has forged their career path with success, yet is wondering what is next. You may not feel entirely fulfilled. You may wonder if there is more.
I’m not an expert, unfortunately. There are still many things I have to learn, and many years of experience that lie before me. But so far, I can tell you this. These fears and doubts that you may have, these things that cause you to question yourself..they will work out. I can’t tell you when. I can’t even promise that they will work out perfectly, or neatly. Life can be messy, and almost never goes according to plan, but I do want you to know this.
Whatever stage of your life you are in, I believe in you. You believe in yourself too, I promise. It may not seem like it right now, but everything you have to conquer the next part of your life is in your hands right now. And I want you to know this also. What seems like a crisis right now is merely a bump in your road.