Friend, I see you. I see you and I understand you. Because I am you. You may not hear it as often as you so desperately need it, the affirmation that your self doubt and questioning of your parenting skills is not in vain. You wish to hear it from your husband, but he probably doesn’t mention it as often as he should..and that’s perfectly okay. He has worries too..things to focus on during his day, and even though he means well, he may forget.
But I don’t. I see you, and I want to acknowledge you. You may not bring home a paycheck, there may be no official title to your name. But the ones who call you Mommy see you as their boss, their life, their world. They notice you, and I promise, that even during the melt down, end of the world tantrums at the worst of times, they love you. They appreciate you and the long nights you have spent wide awake, nursing their tired, sick, wound up bodies to sleep, a concept fleeting to you. Even with your hair in a ponytail on a daily basis, wearing a day old outfit, often containing a stain of a questionable nature, they see you, someone they can be comfortable with, their best friend. They test you, they drive you crazy, because they love you. They recognize the hard work you are putting in, your payment not in dollars but in hugs and admiration.
Your husband sees you too. I promise, to him you are more than the dinner you set on the table, ready to eat as soon as he arrives home from work so that he has one less thing to worry about during his day. To him, you are more than laundry, more than a tidy house, more than happy children, though I promise, that matters to him too. You are his wife, the woman he fell in love with, the woman who bore those children you now take care of. Even on your worst days, those days when you haven’t showered, or you are at your wits end, questioning your beauty, your purpose, your sanity, he notices you. He may not say it every day, every month or even for a few months at a time, but I promise, he notices you too.
And on those days when you are so tired that you can barely move, yet you forge on, I see you too friend. I see those hours you’ve put in, the melt downs you’ve handled, the moments you’ve created for your children as you have taken another step forward in to shaping them as adults, and I applaud you. You are amazing. You are a wife, a mother, and your work is being noticed. You matter.